Hayward heath Hospital, I lay down on the bed - lifted my top up.
''It is cold'' .. the gel on my belly, and the ultra sounds machine rolling from right to left, top to bottom around my belly.
''Could you tell me, what it is? '' ''.....The result will come next Monday..''
''....I have a flight tonight to Egypt, could you tell me, what it is? ''
'....There is a 15cm Cyst in the uterus.... so go to the GP now and ask if you can fly or not' '....!....'
6th September, it was the day i finally fly from 'Emerson College', which i call my home to the new home base : 'SEKEM' in Egypt. after living in England for 7 years, it was one of the important moments of shift in my life. packing was all ready, i brought a lot of chocolates as presents for friends in Egypt. I was so ready. my flight was 11pm.
the very day, i also had an appointment to do ultrasound check at the hospital, i was about not to go, and Felipe insisted me to do the check up before going to Egypt. I took a bus by myself. actually I was happy that finally I had a time to write letters! to each community member, my friends, my family in Emerson College... one by one. when i arrived at the hospital, at the waiting room - i kept writing a letter. and i got a bit emotional, 'thank you without this community's love, i will never be who i am today.......' ''Nana Woo''...my name was called. I entered the ultrasounds room. i know this feeling..... whenever i entered this room.... a bit of anxiety. a bit of uncertainty.
I looked at the screen, the black circle was filling the most of screen... I remember how the cyst looked like when it was 5cm.... she told me, it is so big she can not see if it is from right or left. after i came out from the room, I was a bit..... panic....
did she said 15cm? i ran to the bus stop, bus just passed. bus goes once a hour.
i started to text my friends..... 'is there someone who can pick me up..now..?.'
'no', 'no', 'maybe', 'trying not to', 'yes...' yes. Last 7 years how many times how many people I had to ask for the lifts...
Pricilla came to pick me up, dropped me to the GP. GP told me. he needs to see the result, ' I am supposed to fly tonight.....to Egypt' ...
I got the letter saying
[ Strongly advised on medical grounds to cancel or postpone flight until result available, it seems likely she will need urgent further investigations or surgery within the near future]
that was it. that was it. that was it.
This journey began.
unknown...
uncertain..
Next morning , I went to see GP again to hear the result
[Ovarian Cyst 16.6 * 15 * 9 ..due to its size, don't know which side it came from]
Two years ago in Korea, after the ultrasounds scan, the doctor told me - 'if you do surgery you will loose a half of your ovary , but do surgery now. if it gets bigger, you will loose whole ovary' It as 5 cm cyst...i went to see another doctor said the same, another doctor said the same, another doctor, another and finally a doctor said 'you don't need a surgery now, some women live with it even it is 10 cm, when you get pregnant, and we remove it after...'
I was glad that I decided not to do an operation.
.
.
.
Eight years ago in Israel, after the ultrasounds scan, the doctor told me- she found a Cyst in my ovary... ...'What is that ? cyst? ' and it was 5cm.... I decided to not to do an operation.
.
.
.
16cm...
GP told me, I need to wait for the letter with an appointment with the specialist : Gynaecology team back at the hospital. and they will tell me what it is exactly, what the next step is, what the further investigation will be....
What I know, if i do a surgery, a ovary will be gone....
this journey began
unknown
uncertain
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.
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