Last 7 years, living in Emerson College in the village called Forest Row, I have been exposed to so many healers, alternative therapists. However I never seen one for my health, mainly it was because of my financial situation, but also I thought I could work first by myself with Eurythmy and meditation and so on. When I was working on the performance ‘What is Love? ’, I worked with so many artists, a biographical counselor, a Eurythmy therapist and a director as part of preparation to perform.
But now, I am saying yes to outer support for my own health. Sometimes life shows me clearly what I have to do.
(*I am sharing only some parts of my experience of these treatments, this is not a full process)
1. Psychic Surgery
I got a text from Pricila- ‘Stephen! I will pay for your treatment if you need support and I will drive you.’ I remembered that a number of my friends went to see him before. I checked the available time on the website, the day after tomorrow, on the 9th Sep, it was new moon. for 15min, £30…'!!!'
‘Ummm….. all right, Yes, I will go.’ I booked a session. It was a big step in my life.
8 am: Kindly Alex could drive me, we left Emerson. we drove for an hour and half and arrived at his ashram in Essex, the moment I entered a person who wore a Indian style orange dress said 'Who is next? Are you coming to see Stephen?’ ‘Yes, can I just go to the toilet?’ I needed a moment of arriving. Breathing, looking at the mirror. Do I expect a miracle? I don’t know. When I opened the door, there was Alexander who I met before…..he looked surprised to see me. I explained my situation, ‘you came to the right person’…. ‘Come in’ said the guy with the orange dress.
I laid down on the bed, a tall man with a white dress came and said cheerfully
‘Good morning, how are you?’ , ‘Good..’ , ah, he is Stephen. Immediately I heard some metal sounds, chinky chaky. It felt like he is taking something out from my belly. he threw something on the bin, rubbed my belly with cotton and he put his both hands on my belly……..silence……….some moments later he left,
‘Today this is all for you’ the guy with orange dress.
I was a bit surprised as I thought it would be for 15 min…
‘Excuse me, can I ask him something?’ ‘you can wait outside, please’
I came out from the room, Alex and Felipe were surprised to see me so soon ‘already done?!’ After a while Steven came, we had a conversation. He was answering some questions. He said ‘if you need, you need to do an operation; I also go to see a doctor when it is needed. some people went back to see the doctor after seeing me, sometimes it was gone/ I am not conscious of what I am doing, just HE does through me’
We drove back to home, I laid down on the back seat all the way.
I had a red scar and stitches marks on my belly.
2. Spiritual Response Therapy
The night before, Nammah asked me ‘Have you seen Bridgette?’ she immediately made a call ‘Hello Bridgette, next to me here is nana’. I remember some friends went to see her, she was treating my friend’s mother through phone. ‘How much does nana need to bring?’,
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A few years back when I was in my Eurythmy training, once I got so sick and Bridgette heard about my situation through my friends so she invited me for a light acupuncture treatment, and she told me this is her support to me. ….I don’t think she remembers me, but I remember her kindness.
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‘£70’, ‘is it cheaper for the second time?’ ‘no, each time is the same’
Yes, it is okay, breath nana, yes, I will go.
9 am: ‘Hello Nana’ I remembered her French accent.
'Before you came, I already asked some questions’
‘…?...’ I went to her room, sat in front of her desk, big amethyst crystals was on it.
She told me she was surprised to find out that I had such a low ground energy. 15% out of 100%. so she suggested me to work with the Earth element, to have some crystals with iron and to wear red clothes. When I heard ‘red’, it makes sense to me why I was suddenly longing to wear red lipstick :)
Later she told me, I need to connect with the first, my root chakra.
She asked different questions out loud to the space, to the spiritual beings. She has her pendulum on her right hand, ‘I am not a clairvoyant, so this is how I ask and connected to get answers from the spiritual beings.’ She kept asking different questions to find out more information. I quietly sat in front of her, watching how pendulum moves from one side to the other side. And when she asked about blockage: [World Energy] came,
'Nana this means, your energy is too much focus on the outer world, what is happening in others, in the world. now time to focus on yourself’
And she kept on asking, ‘which are the qualities that are making nana’s block? ’
The pendulum started to move …
‘Violence’….next.. ‘Resentment’…next.. ‘Intolerance’…next….’Moody’….next ‘…..’ , no more.
These are in the sub-conscious mind. You might not notice these things….
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Violence, Resentment, Intolerance, Moody..
[Bridgette, I know them very well…. since my childhood]
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'What are the qualities that can replace them at the subconscious mind.
Kindness….Self-forgiveness … Loyalty….Enthusiasm….and one more as extra gift Awareness.........Thank you’
and she gave me this sentences I can repeat everyday like a mantra.
[I release all my belief, perception and judgement of being ‘Violence, Resentment, Intolerance, Moody’. I release need and desire to believe ‘Violence, Resentment, Intolerance, Moody
I now completely accept and believe and instruct my subconscious mind to accept and believe
on every level of my being : ‘ Kindness, Self-forgiveness, Loyalty, Enthusiasm and Awareness’]
and she did some cleansing of all my blockage, during the time the pendulum was circling, round and round and she invited me to the light acupuncture treatment directly to my cyst. At the door step, she told me that people try to work too much to fix or correct their problems, however the work is actually done by the spiritual beings. So she told me to ask help from the spiritual world. If I don’t ask, they will not help. When I ask for help, they will come and guide me.
Yes, now to trust that all different levels of beings can work on me. Together with me.
3. Osteopathy, Ki Therapy
[I heard about you from different people at Emerson college, do you have a time? ]
I was waiting to see Joanne at Gaia, the amethyst pendulum on the table caught my eyes as I was watching one most of my time during the session with Bridgette.
‘Are you nana? come in’ so she was Joanne. I sat in front of her, a big rose quartz crystal necklace on her neck. I explained my entire situation.
‘Do you want a general healing or specific to your cyst’
‘I am very very ready to work directly on my cyst’
I lay down on the bed, the third time, another healer. I let myself go and trust this person. she held my feet, ‘now breathe in and out a few times, and each time let go of everything you carried before and arrive on the table. be present, be in this space, fully arrive ’ Every breath, I felt my body sunk into the bed. I closed my eyes.
Her voice was very calm and grounded.
She held my collar bone and asked me to feel the physicality of the space. After while she asked what kind of feeling arose in the space…. ‘…….Joy……’
Her hands moved downward, holding my solar plexus and asked me the same question.
‘……….Struggle…… ’
Her hand moved downward to my cyst. She whispered. ‘Gentle interest, nothing is going to harm you’ and asked me the same question, This time a feeling arose immediately. ‘Loneliness’ . she asked me a different question ‘I Ignore’
‘If it is a being, what kind of form, age, movement it does?’
I saw a sponge like furry, hairy being, grey bluish. I couldn’t see the age, growling forward and backward, a bit like a stuck movement. I was focusing on the image, trying to see more… and somehow…. And somehow, I started to feel that the space around me was spinning, spinning and spinning so fast, at one point I started to feel dizzy, my head was aching. And I didn’t feel my physical body anymore. Am I afraid? Somehow I stayed in movement, feeling so strongly… Joanne’s voice ‘nana, are you okay?’ I could hear her voice but I couldn’t answer, I stayed in this twirling movement. I was not so sure I am spinning or only the space spinning… somehow I was enjoying.
‘Joanne, where are your hands?’
‘My right hand is on your belly, my left hand is under your back, Nana, don’t stay in the movement, what is the feeling…can you name the feeling? ’
When I focused my consciousness to the sense of feeling, I came out from the twirling.
I explained calmly what just had happened.
‘You are very sensitive to the energy flow, the movement, but I recommend not to stay too long in the movement but name the feeling’
And we decided to move on, move on to my pelvis and the root charka. She asked me to breathe in and out from the root chakra for a while.
After the session, she told me that my first charka and second chakra needed to be work on more. And also I can work on myself, first to wiggle my pelvis to feel the physical space and imagine on breathing in and out through the second chakra.
I appreciate very much that I didn’t have to go into my stories, the actual visual memories; instead, she guided me to focus on naming the feeling in my body. Physical sensation and where the emotion and feeling lives in my body.
When I came out from the room, for a while I had to sit and come back to myself.
What was that experience? What was it? I remembered a similar feeling when I fainted a few years ago. that feeling, it is not too pleasant, but also it is not too negative. This in-between feeling. I started to be conscious of something in my body.
A week later, the second session, again starting with holding my feet and asked me to breathe in and out to let go and arrive to the place. She felt some tension on my legs so she guided me through a meditation: Imagine there is a star in the centre of the 2nd chakra, softly shining in the night sky, next star on your right thigh….front of the knee, one on your foot , back to behind of the knee, to the centre point, to the left thigh… on the front of the knee and left foot, back of the knee and back to the centre point, and now like a beautiful night sky, all the stars are shining in the dark night…..with this, I can feel that I was breathing, the tension was gone. She told me I can look for ‘Yoga Nidra’; and she added that some emotion, it got separated from me, it formed a cyst, but now the task is to integrate it back to my body. not leave it lonely, not ignoring, not separating, gently gently interested in and to integrate it.
Slowly slowly gently gently, this cyst could breathe too?
Who is this being…still unknown to me.
4. Spiritual Research private consultant
The day I found about the cyst, Alex told me ‘Nana, you can take my appointment with Frank. I will give my session to you’
Frank Burdich, the last three years I have been interested in seeing him. I heard that he could see the etheric and astral bodies of people and he works with eurythmists.
And I know his wife, Inessa through YouthSection, who is very loving and kind woman.
This year I felt that I was ready to see him, however I was going to Egypt, so I thought when the right time comes I will see him. And now, It is the time!
8:15am: I arrived to the place, they were just finishing their breakfast. I went inside a room, sat on a chair. I felt a bit of curiosity and nervousness. He came in and sat in front of me, again I explained my situation with 16cm cyst. After sharing, he said now he will ‘look’ at me. which means that he will open his different eyes to see……..Silence…he started to write some notes in his chart. Interesting feeling as someone is looking at my etheric, astral bodies and more which I cannot see. I looked at the window, grey sky and green meadow, the mansion of Michael hall school as back ground. Trees were moving by a strong wind, it is my favourite weather, as if a storm would come soon….. From time to time I sighed…recently I sigh more often. Suddenly I felt the sadness, last three years I wanted to see him, it was more to see my spiritual development, for when I feel fully healthy, and now…. I am…. Sitting in front of him with ..so called ‘Illness’….
‘Now I will explain to you……..’ and he described me one by one. one of the things he told me is that there are blockages around my neck and reproductive organ from my biography, which is from a repeated trauma situation, so he told me that the work I am doing to go through my old feelings, is the right direction.
And at the end he gave me a mantra that I can work with to strengthen my ‘I’ and the heart realm. The First sentence, think this words in the head and expand my thinking from inside the head to around the head. The second sentence, thinking around heart, more heartful thinking. And the third one expand my thinking to my whole being into the world.
Wisdom lives in light
Wisdom shines in light
The wisdom of the world shines in light.
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To be continued...
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