I called to the Brighton hospital,
“Thank you for calling university Hospital, NHS trust, if you know the extension number please enter it now’
‘****’
‘We are sorry, the line is busy ‘
“Thank you for calling university Hospital, NHS trust, if you know the extension number please enter it now
‘****’
‘We are sorry, the line is busy ‘
“Thank you for calling university Hospital,………..
Waiting for an hour and 15 min, still no answer
Last Friday, Alex delivered a letter from the hospital, I opened it with Ellie, she came to give me some advises on hospital procedure .
[I will book an operation for the next weeks]
next weeks!!!
[but hopefully will have you looking a lot slimmer in the near future. ]
!!!
Ellie explained to me the doctor might be concerned that I was too worried of my situation, so he added some English humor to make me relax....
I call again to the Brighton hospital, this time without entering the extension number,
Someone, ‘A Human’ answered –
‘Hello, I am calling to ask about my operation, I haven’t agreed on it yet, I haven’t even seen the consultant yet.....’
‘Peeee….’ I guessed she linked to another number.
‘Please leave your name and number,’
‘Oh Dear! ’
‘Hello, My name is Nana Woo, I got a letter last Friday, which says they will book me an operation in a couple of weeks, I never agreed on anything yet, specially to remove my ovary, so can you call me as soon as possible to explain to me. Thank you’
I couldn’t hide my voice of being upset. Honestly I was almost crying.
I guess this is something everyone goes through, learning to be patience and relax.
One hour later I got a call from ‘Unknown number’
‘Hello, we received your message, ’
‘Hello, my name is Nana woo, I got this letter last Friday, to book for an operation in a few weeks to remove my 16cm mass and ovary. However, I haven’t agreed on anything, especially concerning my ovary, I haven’t seen a consultant, I only saw the junior Dr. in person, who explained he is not a surgeon, If i ask something , he said he cannot answer anything definite and he wanted to do another blood test, and said that they need a meeting with the multidisciplinary team to discuss my case, until that meeting he cannot tell me anything’…. So I haven’t heard of the result, and maybe there is a missing step…..’
‘someone cancelled tomorrow, 12pm. Can you come? ’
‘Pardon?’
‘Someone cancelled tomorrow, can you come tomorrow 12pm to the Brighton hospital’
‘oh oh…Yes, yes please… of course I can, anytime’
So she booked me an appointment to see a consultant – Gynaecology oncologist.
Finally I will see a consultant who I can ask all the questions I prepared for last one month and two days! Also tomorrow is new moon, another new beginning.
Next morning, I run with Felipe through Talblehurst farm not to miss the bus to the hospital. On the bus we were discussing to go to the sea or to stay in the city.
‘Nana Woo’
A 40’s years oldish man with a good smile came out and called my name, we followed him. he gave me his hand to shake, so did to Felipe.
“Hello my name is Dr….”
I explained everything, that I was too surprised to see the letter saying about the booking of the operation, etc.
‘I totally understand you, when we want to do a process as soon as possible, sometimes we miss some steps, so please do ask me all of the questions you want to ask.’
- Result of my blood test, benign or not ?
- Why did you make a decision to remove the cyst, ovary and tube?
- Is it from the left or right side?
- If it involves both, would you remove my both ovaries?
- What does it mean multi-locculated exactly?
- What does it mean that it grew from June- Sep ?
- What about MRI or CT scan?
- Can I postpone the surgery, and how long? 3month – 6month?
- What kind of surgery will you do? key hole surgery?
- If mass is cancerous how would you operate? Bagged?
- Tell me each step of time frame – pre-clurk
- Who is going be the surgeon? Do you know?
- Can I take a flight? For 12 hours? I explained to him that I might go to Korea.
He very kindly answered all my questions in details. And he seemed to genuinely understand all my concerns and worries about my cyst as a patience.
‘If you have finished, Can I ask you some questions now?’
‘What is your occupation?’ ….. ‘Dancer’
After answering his questions and sign the paper for the operation,
I asked him ‘Are you from Scotland?’
‘no from Germany, however I lived in Wales so I have an interesting mixed accent.’
‘ah if you are from Germany , do you know Waldorf schools?
‘Yes’
‘I am a Eurythmist…’
‘I see’
We left hospital, ‘Felipe, let’s go to the beach, Yallah’
Weather was again so beautiful. there was no single cloud in the sky.
We went to the beginning of the white cliff
‘Today I am allowed to have an ice cream’ – and we found an Organic milk ice-cream shop just in front of us. we walked to the beach bank, took off our shoes and socks, lay down..Felipe bought a bottle of cider and chips, I bought a vegetable chips. and we reflected on what just the doctor had told us,
.
.
.
‘How long can I postpone ? three months – six months?’
‘Why do you want to postpone? In your case we have to operate as soon as possible, that is why we are trying to book in a couple weeks… What I can say is that it is at the border line between benign and malignant as it has grown so fast for a couple of month, and it is muti-locullated. if you really wish to go to Korea, within a month you have to have an operation… I know the Chinese medicine well, and I know that they have 7 years full time training, but yours is not the case for that. The cyst will grow more and more. It will never shrink. Within one month you need a surgery.
and we will need to remove your ovary, and fallobian tube as it has been stretched for so long, it doesn't function any more. if you keep it, it might create a further risk , so we will remove them. and no worries, as you are young lady , we wouldn't remove both ovaries in any case. ’
.
.
.
‘Felipe, maybe I have to stay in the UK and do a surgery. It will be faster than going to Korea.’
Confusion, insecurity, anxiety came to visit me.
‘Wait a second, if they are diagnosing me from the ultrasound scan that was done a month ago... look, already a month passed…..so I am anyway already late.. Felipe with one ovary, will you still love me? ’
I turned my face to Felipe, suddenly tears dropped from my eyes. And started to cry.
‘Felipe….Felipe……’
What was it?… I felt sorry for my body, how come until it had grown to 16cm I didn’t notice it. Even if I found it when it was smaller, like an orange size in June, something inside my stomach, I didn’t really care. I had this cyst for the last 8 years and I didn’t pay much attention. And now I have to sacrifice an ovary and tube. I came too far. How come, a bit of guilt, a bit of shame, a bit of everything mixed. I just….feel… I just feel… so sorry for myself.
Without a word, Felipe just hugged me in his chest for long time. And I cried and cried under the blue sky and with the sounds of the waves. And with his gentle deep voice,
‘I love you Nana’
he whispered to my ears…I cried and cried under the blue sky and with the sounds of waves.
I called my mother,
‘Mother, finally I met the doctor, he said I have to do an operation within a month and one ovary and tube will be removed…. So could you kindly check when I can have an operation in Korea? Maybe if I cannot do in a month, I might stay in the UK and do an operation, It was a German doctor. Yes, he sounds promising. Don’t worry………'
On the way back home, in the bus I texted Sophia about what the doctor said and she replied,
‘it is a big challenge for both of you, dear nana and Felipe, I pray for you’
yes it is.
Today is new moon, another new beginning.
The second month has begun.
New moon in Libra.
22nd Aug : A &E blood test CA-125
6th Sep : Ultrasounds scan / Flight to Egypt cancelled
13th Sep : Fast referral from GP
26th Sep : Gynaecology Oncology department: LDH test
5th Oct : Letter
5, 8th Oct : Calling the hospital
9th Oct: : meeting with a consultant of Gynaecology Oncology
Episode 2:
This is our healing house. on Felipe's birthday, I prepared the special birthday breakfast and a polenta cake for the first time in my life! as I had a strict diet, I couldn't eat any of those, but I was so happy that I could serve him, who worked very hard for me. I love you Felipe!
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