After being laying down on the bed for entire 24 hours (after the surgery) ,
yesterday morning the doctor came and said
'From this morning you should start doing exercises, even if it’s painful, better to take some painkillers and keep doing exercise'.
And the nurse removed my urinary tube, finally I got free from this;
'Let us know if you fart, it is very important'
Ummm farting…
I didn’t have anybody next to me, my father left the night before, my mother was going to arrive around lunch time. To be honest, I was glad that I could be alone these moments to be vulnerable.
First, I did Eurythmy exercises while I was lying on the bed, the sounds 'M' - 'B' > 'L' -> 'B ' , giving love and warmth and telling my body that I will stand and we will do it together, with soft breathing. And another eurythmy exercise with a verse, I hold the image of Alfhield in my heart, who taught me this exercises:
'Nana, you don't even need to stand, just sit and you can do Eurythmy for healing'.
In my heart shines the strength of the sun
In my soul works the warmth of the world.
I breathe the strength of the sun
I feel the warmth of the world
The strength of the sun streams into me
The warmth of the world penetrates me.
After my energy body was charged, I made a trial to sit up…
!!!!!
Even only to think of making an attempt to move a bit, it was so painful, I had to press the button of Fetanlye, the painkiller, such a sharp pain which I never experienced before.
'Okay, nana, very slowly, take time'
I put the bed up till 90 degree, slowly managed to sit up. I turn my body to the right and managed to put one leg down and then the other one, so finally my both feet were on the ground. Each step contained pain.
But that was only the beginning, after putting my feet on the ground, i just couldn’t make my back straight at all... this is called 'pain'! With a bent back, I stood in front of my Altar, which has been with me since the beginning, since the day I found the cyst, and now filled with precious things that my dear friends have been giving me. I read the verse:
Spirit of God fill thou me,
Fill me in my soul.
To my soul give strength,
Strength also to my heart,
I suddenly felt warmth flowing from below through my check upward, some kind of warm energy. Very naturally, effortlessly I could straight my back and stood up. It happened so naturally, it was a magical moment. I just continued reading the verse.
My heart which seeks for thee,
Seeks thee with honest longing,
Longing to be whole and well
Whole and well and full of courage
Courage as a gift of the hand of God,
Gift from thee, spirit of God,
Spirit of God fill thou me.
I combed my hair, made plats, I put the liquid which Pricilla got from Tina, to cleanse my energy(chi). I purify my Etheric body. I felt it was like a ritual procedure.
I did I A O, M L B Eurythmy exercises,
and Katherine's Eurythmy therapy exercises:
(left foot) Steadfast here on earth i stand
(right foot) Safe I walk the path of life
(left arm) Love I cherish in the core of my being
(right arm) Hope I place in every deed that I do
(head) Confidence i carry in my thinking
(I imagine the five stars on my body) These five leads me to life's goal
(I turned my palms upward) These five gives me my existence
I was re-born!
I held the hand bar and slowly made my way outside of the room, I had to rely on the bar to walk, and I was imagining that with each step there was a root growing down into the ground, at the same time all around me was full of honey, like warm water, that was carrying me. All the imagination exercises from my Eurythmy training came back to me one by one.
A few hours later, my mother arrived, she was so surprised to see me standing and walking around, and looking so well just the day after the operation! She looked also very relieved , some kind of burden had disappeared.
And the first meal came, after completely emptying my bowl of food after two days, every single bite coming into my mouth, then throat and stomach, it was blessing. This time I will try again to change my eating habits, one of the teachings from my cyst. This process of re-start eating and moving, it is indeed a ritual process, to re-appreciate what was very normal.
A nurse came, 'Have you farted?'
'Not yet, but I had a pee and poo'
'Poo?! really?!!'
I didn’t understand why her surprising voice; is it a bad or a good sign?
In the evening, the doctor came to check my health:
'Because you are a young lady, you are recovering very fast and looks very well, you had already pee and even poo. Would you like to go home tomorrow? '
'Pardon? I just had a Laparotomy surgery yesterday? Is it possible?'
'You already had a bowel movement, no fever; I think you could go home, if you want'
........
Of course, my mother refused to let me go home so soon, she was worried that something could happen.
......Because I am a young lady.......
I had a big smiled inside me when I heard that,
as I know very well why I am recovering so fast.
It was not only about my age,
I have done so much work during the last 90 days,
and so many friends are sending me love and prayers at this very moment,
and I am a Eurythmist :)
Today I saw my scar on the lower stomach, it is also true that it was a painful journey, it was a sacrifice, it was in service, it was the devotion… Dear my cyst and left ovary and fallopian tube, from now I live my life with more awareness and compassion and I will take care of myself that your sacrifice was truly worth it.
I vow to myself.
*Episode: Whenever Felipe went away from me, I kept his unwashed shirt and put it on the pillow and I was hugging it every night. it became my 'thing'. Felipe still doesn't understand why I am obsessed with his dirty shirt . he thinks a bit 'strange thing'. Of course this time I did it again and the red shirt of Felipe is having a very special trip to the hospital in Korea ;)
Comentários